"I can safely assure you that it's a heartbreaking, bittersweet tapestry of life itself and that you'll promptly re-name your children after the main characters. Also, any copy of the book will cure gout with a touch and can transmute lead into gold once every 24 hours. The eBook version, in any language, has a special feature where 1 in 50 lucky readers will be transported to the Death Zone on Gallifrey and get a chance to play the Game of Rassilon."
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